How To Deal With Angry And Negative People
We often come across people who for no good reason treat us badly, not that there is ever a good reason. People who behave in this way, who attack verbally or on a personal level, are really seeking acknowledgment and approval within themselves. By pushing outward they are trying to attain a level of completeness in themselves. For example, as you cross the street someone unjustifiably honks their horn in anger, where does this come from and why is it directed at you? It makes you feel bad, but it is really this other person pushing outward toward the world because they are in need. If someone acknowledges you with anger, thrusting negative energy at you, know that they are not happy within themselves. This other person knows they need something; they are unsatisfied and are then frustrated. You are dealing with someone who is basically screaming for help through their actions.
They need and want approval of who they are. They believe that if they get a reaction out of someone, they will feel better. But of course all they are really doing is throwing anger and negative thoughts onto others. Their frustration level is so high- at life, at themselves, at not knowing why, that it spills outwards. Usually the response they receive is worse than what they put out and it feeds the cycle. When a neighbor is rude do you not feel the want to respond in the same way, that because they were rude, it is justified in you? You can see the spiral of unhappiness and how it feeds on itself. Instead, look at the random acts of anger and frustration you feel from others as not personal, it is not directed at you intentionally. Instead, if you can, see it as a sadness overflowing from that person, that they so need acknowledgment and help that this is their only method of coping. And that is all it is- a method, one of relating with the world in an effort to feel better. True, it has the opposite effect and doesn’t really give that person what they need. But for you, when you relate to this other person, when you feel their anger and judgment, just remember it is not you but rather them that is feeling it all.
They are full of sadness. It is entrenched so deeply within that they are coming from a place without clarity and do not fully see you. How can you really help them? This is the best way to help yourself; smile and let their comment or action slide off. Do not take in the anger, do not return it, do not let it become more than it is. It is their problem spilling outwards. See yourself calmly realize this, that it is not about you but them. When you can come from a place of acknowledging their issues it becomes easier to deal with these types of people. It is not your job to take this from people, a smile and letting go is all you need. If they see their anger is not being accepted, not being turned around and thrust back at them, but rather a small moment of kindness, it may stop them in that moment- they will feel it. Instead of holding it in or giving it back, simply smile and walk on. It will make it easier to deal with these types of people and not let their negativity override you and become part of you.
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