Communication Lessons Learned in Marriage Counseling
Communication is the key to a happy relationship that is what a marriage counseling session (we Danes call those vellykket familierådgivning) taught me when my wife and I visited a therapist. Most people think that communication at work places is different from at home, they are wrong. It has the same dynamics just that at home you have a lot at stake. Good communication at home will save a lot of things:
- Understanding other person’s problem. When you talk to your partner about how you feel or would like to be treated it will make him/ her work hard to satisfy your need.
- Express our love. By simply telling your partner that you love him/ her is the simplest and best way of expressing your love and making your partner do the same for you making your relationship (or problematisk parforhold as we Danes say) stronger.
- Boost your sexual life. With low libido it’s hard to think of or feel like having sex but talking about sex with your partner will make you want your partner sexually.
- Prevent divorce and heartbreaks. Good communication that involves use of emotions will prevent a lot of fights since relationships are built of emotions and feelings rather than facts.
Below is what I learned from my marriage counseling.
- Prepare your partner for a conversation. Most of the times when people are engaged in counseling concerning their marriage problems these talks don’t yield fruity since the person may not respond well or at all because they are not prepared for that talk. To get good response and help in solving marital issues it is better to prepare your partner both mentally emotionally. He/ she will have good time to think of the problem and give good response of what he/ she feels like and the best possible way to fix the problem.
- Stop complaining. The big mistake that people make is that they complain, this spoils the conversation and makes your partner angry leading to emotions and tempers flaring. NEVER complain but instead ask for what you want concretely.
- Always give feedback. Sometimes we may put in a lot of effort in building our relationships by talking and asking questions but the expectations are not met. Don’t keep quite always give feedback on such circumstances even if you know that what you are going to tell your partner isn’t what he or she expects.
- Have boundaries. Don’t talk your marriage issues public to social media. Sometimes people share too much with their friends or on social platforms. For instance they state their status “Married” and when they edit their profiles this may lead to questions from friends or partners hence leading to bad feelings. To prevent this all don’t even start it on the social media.
- Talk always. The only and easiest way of making good progress in marriage is by talking always. Take some days of the week to talk to your partner in private no matter how busy you are. You can have this conversation after talking your kids to bed and utilize the kitchen floor to talk and so that you can know anything new in your partner’s life.
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