How to be happy with au pairs?

This weekend I had the pleasure of visiting two of my host families and their au pairs from Aupare Care in their homes. One of the host moms had offered to have our monthly au pair meeting at her house for an afternoon of food, fun, and American football. Her au pair, a young German girl, was delighted to play hostess and share her host family and home with her fellow au pairs. I watched as the au pair played with her host children and introduced us to “her family”. She was so proud and couldn’t stop smiling. I thought, “This is how it is supposed to be, this au pair is with her family, having her friends over to visit on a relaxed Sunday afternoon”. It was a simple gesture offered up by the host mom as a way to include her au pair. This host family lives on the outskirts of my region and it is far for the au pair to drive to meetings sometimes. So, the host mom invited us to come to them this time. We brought food (several au pairs cooked desserts from their country), the host mom cooked some yummy appetizers, and the little host kids decorated the walkway to the house with mini pumpkins. We gathered together in the family room watching football with the host dad. Then we pulled up chairs to share a meal around the kitchen table discussing everything from the neighbor’s kittens to Halloween plans. The 4 year old danced around in her pink ballerina tutu offering us candy corn and charming us all with her big vocabulary. The 9 year old boy snuck into the au pair group photo. Towards the end of our afternoon, an au pair played the piano for us as the toddler host girl climbed up next to her on the piano bench to plunk a few keys. The rest of us gathered around or pulled up a chair to listen.

I also visited a second family to meet their new au pair also from Aupare Care and conduct an au pair orientation. The Spanish au pair greeted me at the door with the dog under her arm while the host mom swept in to greet me and we all hugged. The mom and the au pair admitted that seconds before they were cleaning up together for my arrival. In this home, the family had to do some rearranging of furniture to make room for their new au pair. The house was still in the midst of reorganization, setting up a new computer room and play area for the daughter. The host mom pointed to the dining room table and turned to me. She said, my husband had to get out the old dining room table from the garage as it is bigger and we needed room for all of us to eat dinner together. I looked over at the new au pair who had just arrived. She beamed as her new host mom said this: enough chairs to include her at dinner were one of the host family’s top priorities. I got a lump in my throat as I considered how meaningful this gesture was for all~a chair at the table is a basic family right. Everyone in a family gets a seat at the table, everyone is included and welcomed.

These 2 scenerarios for me illustrate what I mean when I tell my host families to treat the au pair from Aupare Care like “a long lost cousin from another country”. I am proud to say my host families really know how to show their southern hospitality. Whether it is around a kitchen table, a piano or at a dinner table, pulling up a chair is one way to demonstrate au pair inclusion and membership in a family.

Join Aupare Care at http://twitter.com/#!/aupaircare and know how to treat new au pairs.

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