No more Awkward Silences with Women!
So there you just met a girl on the night out. You introduced yourself you, and then you 2 engaged in a conversation a bit…all of a suddent you your mind went blank and the conversation staled and you stood there like a weirdo without anything else to say.
This situation of how to keep a conversation going after the introduction is very common among guys, especially after you get passed all the common intro-questions, such as “What’s your name?”, “How are you?”, “Where are you from?”, etc.
Now does this same problem exist when you are chatting to your friends and family?
Look you’re not the only who thinks that. She probably also doesn’t know what to say her, and labels herself as a conversationalist also.
How to handle this?
The most common thing to do is to inquire her and just be fascinated in what she says. The thing is, this is the same boring thing all the other guys do, besides what are you…an interviewer?
You can tell stories. Storytelling will be the thing that will fuel most of the conversations, but if you don’t have a bag of interesting relevant stories, I recommend you stock up on some memorized stories to pull out to tell at any time. In my book the Art of Social Natural, I do dwell into a number of storytelling techniques in how you can use just one memorized story to come up with fresh new stories that are relevant to the situation to tell every time anywhere.
Now I have this effective strategy I called “obviousation – Saying the Obvious to Neutralize the Awkwardness (S.O.N.A.).”
(Now say it with me, “Saying the Obvious to Neutralize the Awkwardness”…good job :)
This method works like a charm.
This breaks down a lot of barrier, similar to when you are interacting to your friends and family you don’t have these barriers. You act relax and just speak your mind.
Imagine you’re talking to a girl and abruptly the conversation dies and there is this moment of awkward silence.
You’re thinking this awkward silence is caused by you and that you are a terrible conversationalist; however does it cross your mind she is thinking the same thing too?
Simple solution, SONA (Say-the-Obvious-to-Neutralize-this-Awkwardness), just say in a cool joking manner something similar,
“Huh, have you noticed we’re both not great conversationalists? We’re both quiet right now? We don’t know what to about anymore? You know…do you just hate when this happens? When 2 people are conversing they both become silent, and usually they think they are the one who is the terrible conversationalist…but they don’t get is that the other person has the same thing in mid, also.”
This will release a lot of suspense and may generate a laugh, the laugh of recognition.
And you two can then go into a conversation about “conversations”.
Watch as how she warms up from here, you will elevate from this place of being this stranger to being somebody who she knows in her life.
Also you are being the man here who is easing that same tension and awkwardness she experiences from not having anything to say, or she will eventually do it for you…by “I gotta go to the ladies room”.
Ever catch why comedians are good at what they do to appear funny? They are ballsy enough to mention the obvious that nobody else is willing to admit, but hey they are comedians and do it in an entertaining way, that’s how they can get away with it.
From here, you can also dwell into a cold-reading.
After talk about “conversations””, and there is another awkward silence, SONA again.
“Ahh give me a break, another quiet moment? I think this time, you’re the bad conversationalist.” :)
Play and have fun with the awkward silences.
After when this happens, instantly you two will have an insider vibe, and will feel more at ease and relaxed and have a stronger connection.
The way to describe this sensation is notice the difference in your behavior when you first meet a girl when there is this kind of barrier between you 2 that you both can’t entirely relaxed around other each and always be conscious to display your best self.
And after you sleep with her, that feeling changes and you 2 feel a lot more at ease because you guys have gone through a lot, had your uncomfortable moments, shown your flaws and you 2 are both ok with it without being judgmental each other.
Not a lot of guys are confident enough to do this. What do majority of guys do? They try to find stuffs to talk about by continuously asking question; however, by willing to admit the truth, it conveys balls and honesty, and will destroy a lot of superficial barriers to get to her truth self, and you will be seen as unique in her eyes.
Gabriel Angelo runs http://www.socialnatural.com, with the unique approach to dating and meeting women, by focusing on developing your “social skills” to be the most socially savvy person you can be, not just with women…but everybody. Although the arts are primarily related to dating and attracting women, they can be applied to other aspects of your life from social, dating, personal, and even professional.
For more information, please visit http://www.socialnatural.com.
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