Forgiveness Is a Choice

Have you ever heard someone say, “I just can’t forgive them.”? The truth is that you can forgive. Forgiveness is a choice. If you are holding onto a grudge that you just can’t seem to let go, I want to encourage you to take moment to read through this article, especially the Bible verses below and pray that God will help you to forgive.

Forgiveness Will Help You
Often times, people think of forgiveness as being beneficial for person being forgiven. However, without forgiveness, bitterness consumes our lives. It destroys relationships and makes us miserable. I’ve heard it said that holding on to bitterness is like drinking poison to get back at someone. As is taught in Christian counseling classes, it’s not unusual for the person who was originally offended to be suffering more from the lack of forgiveness than the person who needs to be forgiven. You can be freed though forgiveness.

Forgiveness Restores Relationships
The people we tend to have the most difficulty forgiving the people who are/were closest to us. When we have a close relationship with someone, we are more vulnerable with them and what they say and do is more important to us. So, when they do something that hurts us, it hurts us more deeply and is harder to let go. But consider why you were in this close relationship in the first place. It was because you gained something valuable from it, you enjoyed the friendship. So, why exchange something once so valuable for the bitterness of a grudge? Forgiveness can restore that valuable relationship which brought you joy and satisfaction.

Forgiveness Is a Choice
Following are some wonderful laws of the Spirit that will set your heart and mind free. You can be vibrant and happy and excited about life and about new possibilities, but part of what is required is that you let go of heartaches of the past, so that your past hurts do not control your future.

1. In My Thoughts…
I will not dwell on the incident or replay it in my mind.
“Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5)

2. In My Speech…
I will not talk about the incident with the forgiven person or with others.
“Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking.” (1 Peter 2:1)

3. In My Actions…
I will not allow the incident to embitter me against the forgiven person and use it to hurt them.
“Love…bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:7)

Forgiveness is not always easy, but it is always good. God desires us to forgive each other and restore loving relationships. If we ask, He also will work a change in our hearts and minds helping us to forgive and move forward.

Mark Virkler is with Christian Leadership University, an online Bible college/university which has several online Christian colleges of study, offering degrees including a Christian counseling degree and Master’s of Divinity.

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